Unwed, teenage mommies...

We all make snarky statements while forgetting who reads us, eh? One such judgemental aside inspired me to go into overshare mode...again...

Grandma was once ranting about one of her daughter's friends, who had three kids by two men... both of whom she was married to at the time... while lamenting the future of one of her granddaughters who was single and pregnant.

Y'all know how good I am about biting my tongue.

Bad Granddaughter: "Umm, hello, I guess that makes me even sluttier than she is, because I have had four kids by three men, and I wasn't married to the first."

Sanctimonious Hypocrite: "That's different."

BG: "How is it different, Grandma? I'm on your good side this week, so I'm in the untouchable-she-does-no-wrong zone? Truth hurts, and if you're going to put them down, you better consider your audience here."

SH: "It was just different with you."

BG: "Right, Grandma. I was SIXTEEN when I got pregnant, still living at home and depending on my Daddy's insurance to cover my baby, and my Mom to babysit while I finished HIGH SCHOOL. I didn't have a job, or my own car. AND, although I tried (and thankfully failed), I never married that BabyDaddy. SHE's older, has a JOB, supports herself, has professional training... it's real different, just not in my favor."

SH: "Well, it turned out okay for you. She should get married."

BG: "Nobody should get married just because they're pregnant. It's way easier to be a Mom than to be a wife, and getting married for all the wrong reasons, like I did with my 2nd son's father, sets a lot of people up for a lot of unecessary pain. Who could have known my little bastard would turn out so well?"

SH: "Don't call him that!" (I never used that word when thinking about my firstborn, he was just the baby I didn't have to share with anyone, which can actually be kinda funner. But that's how she'd just referred to the other new baby coming into the family, and I had to try to hold up that mirror and force her to look at it one more time.)

BG: "If you're gonna put them down for their reproductive c.h.o.i.c.e.s, then you better tar me with the same brush. Until Don adopted him, in the eyes of the law, that's what he was. Truth hurt yet?"

And on and on it went, with dear sweet old girl sticking with the time-honored "it's okay if you do it when you're on my side, and it's bad if you do it while not on my side" refrain.

Sound like anything else going on in the news lately?

I had sex education. I knew about birth control. I was 16 and invincible... and darned lucky I hadn't become a 14 year old mom. I was *ahem* a wee bit precocious.

None of that had anything to do with whether or not my one working parent was qualified for the job that paid (some of) our bills. None of it was anybody else's business but the people involved.

My parents made a lot of mistakes, but one thing they did very well was handle my unplanned pregnancy. They sat down with me, outlined all my options (AKA, CHOICES), and told me they'd support whatever decision I made. My mom was especially great at letting me choose my own path, considering she was forced to give her first daughter up for adoption in the early 60's... maybe not being allowed to choose for her underage self made her more empathetic as history repeated itself. My dad is opposed to abortion as a method of birth-control, but he told me he'd go with me if I chose to end the life of his potential grandchild, even though it meant walking past the picket lines where his obnoxious, judgemental co-worker spent his Friday mornings.

My dad believed that I had the right to make my own decision, to live my own life, even if he disagreed with it, even when the possibilities scared the hell out of him. That does make him qualified to be an American.

I have signed away many of my freedoms in order to defend and protect my country. That's another one of my rights to choose that I am grateful to have. I humbly believe any politician who would take those personal decisions out of the hands of those who have to live with the consequences is unqualified to lead my country.

And I'm embarassed that we tolerate our media telling us that our candidates' families' personal choices, or bad decisions they made 20 years ago, have anything to do with whether or not the CANDIDATES are qualified to represent us on the world stage. C'mon, do we really not having anything more important to worry about?